Gender Awareness Begins at Birth
This is an issue am so careful about because it seems the society is comfortable with the existing gender norms. They whisper and support Gender equality in their corners and in meetings concerning women empowerment and rights. However they stand up from their meetings and continue in existing norms of ; Alpha male , Violence, Stereotypes and prejudice. It not them, its the society and people tend to be carried away and live as the society dictates. Norms Like; blue for boys and pink for girls, a woman should not be too loud, she should wear some certain dresses, a woman must not be too ambitious, she should get married and be with her husband. I must confess that i too sometimes am carried away by the dictates of gender norms, however subconsciously am aware of them and i try to correct them or do well. Someone said to my girl, 'sit properly like a girl and eat like a girl' and i replied, 'tell her to sit properly and eat properly not to make her feel girls are supposed to withdraw and act a certain way'.
In my gender classes, we tried to unpack the discourses on Gender , to understand why the norms exist and how they are practiced. I remember i struggled a bit with the idea of unraveling and disturbing existing norms. In Nigeria where i was coming from , a girl is a girl and a boy is a boy and they act and behave differently ( boys majorly dominate, while girls behave girly). However i began to understand that these norms are learnt, they are dictated and practiced. Such that it becomes a daily notion and the normal way of living. Okay, ask yourselves which child comes out of the belly with the knowledge of the gender they belong to, how do they know that they are supposed to behave a certain way, if they were not taught both by their parents/ guardians and the society? Suffice to say that Gender Awareness begins at birth.
The popular Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie , in her short book 'Dear Ijeawele' which was indeed an extended version of a letter to a friend who asked her on advice on how to raise her daughter to be a feminist. One of the things she stated was 'She should be left open to options, avoid gendered toys or statements that would make her inferior, encourage her to read and reject likability'. I would add , teach your children ( irrespective of gender) to love and not to hate , to accept and not discriminate, to dominate and conquer. I noted in my post about Women Empowerment and Rights, that we need to begin to unlearn those preexisting norms that makes women want to crawl back into their shells. We need to empower girls, children, women and men with knowledge to do better and act better. Not mere talk but to walk the talk.
References;
Adichie, C. N. (2017). Dear Ijeawele, or, A feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions.
