Who is to blame for domestic violence?

You can agree with me that there is an upsurge in domestic violence. Sometimes i wonder if the advent of social media has made it more pronouced or maybe vicitms have the boldness to speak up now. I have read some people's view on domestic violence . Some people say the women provoke the men. Others say the men and women involved are just violence thirsty. I have heard a few blame it on the devil. Now I wonder, who is truly to blame for domestic violence. 

Recently the Lagos State commissioner for women affairs Mrs Lola Akande stated among other things that women often provoke their spouse to beat them. Again Monlisa Coker on a TV program urged women to stop provoking their spouse to domestic violence as this is the major cause of domestic violence she has researched. In her own words , she said 

" while I detest all forms of domestic violence against men and women, women should quit provoking their men into punches and slaps and all kinds of things". 

Comments that trailed her opinion noted that her research was lopsided. 

I did a bit of research myself and one thing that is agreed amongst DV experts is that the victims never ask for violence. They view a victim that continuously stays in an abusive relationship as mentally unstable, because the victim has accepted that abuse is the norm.  You can read more on the causes of domestic  violence here